Being an “all or nothing” type of person, I am learning a new game. it is called “finding the balance”! Would think it easy, but it ain’t.
It has been drummed in to me that Days 10-14 of the 3 week cycle are my high risk days. As a result of the chemotherapy these are the days that the white blood cells (WBC) are at their lowest count. WBC are the germ fighting machines of the body, the workers of the immune system and also required to assist tissue repair. From Day 7 they are in decline and 10-14 at their lowest.
Tomorrow will be Day 14, the last drug day of this cycle and therefore the end of the risk period. Wednesday will be heralded with a sigh of relief because my body will be allowed to regenerate. The WBC will regenerate during the 6 drug free days before the next cycle, when they get knocked off again! Poor darlings! Thankfully the cancer cells do not have the same regeneration ability as the rest of the body, so they will only suffer! Not poor darlings! This also means my germ fighting capacity will improve and I don’t have to tip toe about as much.
The balance game comes in because I don’t want to sit at home molly coddling myself but I also don’t want to get an infection. If I get any symptoms of infection I have to go to the doctor and will likely be put in hospital on intravenous antibiotics as there is a risk of getting septic fast because the WBC are not there to kill the bacteria.
On Saturday 2 friends, Connie and Karen took me shopping for new bed linen. It was a great. The bedroom looks great, I felt I achieved something and I got some exercise. But then down side is the 5 mouth ulcers and sore throat that I developed on Sunday. What do you do????
The same thing happened last week when I went to work for a day. The next day was my worst. I had so many wacky symptoms because I over did it. (I have made the decision to put work on hold til March. I will do a day on Friday and then Monday and then call it quits for the meanwhile.)
Life has to go on. I want to have some normality to my life. I don’t want to sit at home and do nothing. I start to loose motivation and the”sick” role creeps on. I feel OK, then I do something and then I feel worse. It is a bit of a roller coaster. I am finding how much the something that I can do is.
So today I am taking it quiet again. I am not feeling too bad. Am monitoring my temperature and symptoms and should things progress I will go to the doctor. But it is frustrating. That is why on Wednesday there will be a sigh of relief. I will have gotten through the first risk period safely. I would have taken some risks but I would have managed them too so that there was not harmful consequences.